The MLB genie: One wish for fans of all 30 teams … with a catch


After much thought, the Giants fan finally asked the all-powerful baseball genie for his wish: That Tim Lincecum could still, in the year 2019, throw 97 mph for 200 innings a season, like Max Scherzer does.

“OK,” the genie said. “What’ll you give me for it?”

The fan was confused. The genie explained that some genies like to come up with clever ways to unexpectedly curse any fulfilled wish, but this genie felt all that was unnecessarily cruel. This genie stated the stakes right up front: Any wish could be granted, but it would require the sacrifice of something of roughly equal emotional or tangible value. The more that is asked for, the greater the cost.

The genie said, “So, would you trade the 2014 World Series — the team’s third in five years, an overflow of confetti that one might argue had proved little the first two titles hadn’t already — for Tim Lincecum being able to throw 97 mph for 200 innings five years later?”

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