How the Houston Astros Paved the Way for Baseball’s Demise


After six consecutive losing seasons, the Astros finally made the playoffs in 2015, only to miss out again the following season. With player evaluation, tactics, and player development all checked off the list, the only variable remaining was the other team. How could you know what they were going to do? Since effective mind-control technology still remains in its nascent stage, the Astros jerry-rigged their own psyops. As first reported by The Athletic and then confirmed by an official MLB report, during the World Series-winning 2017 season, Houston illegally used a camera in centerfield to relay the opposing catcher’s signs to a monitor behind the Astros dugout. A Houston player would then literally bang on a trashcan to signify to the batter what pitch was coming. As MLB comissioner Rob Manfred wrote in the league’s report: “Generally, one or two bangs corresponded to certain off-speed pitches, while no bang corresponded to a fastball.” The best part: It’s not even clear that it worked! As Lindbergh wrote for The Ringer, Houston’s offensive performance during the 2017 was actually worse at home than it was on the road.

Luhnow himself denies knowledge of the…

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